Doorzoek het forum
Zoeken met Startpagina
Startpagina Thema's
ward
Ik had deze nog op mijn pc staan. Ik dacht dat het misschien wel leuk was na het vorige lijstje…
You know you've been in China too long when…
At Mealtime…
1. You're at an expensive western restaurant and don't even notice the guy at the next table yelling into his cell phone
2. A June 2000 Great Wall Cabernet (mixed with Sprite) is your vintage of choice
3. You think of ‘salad’ as diced apples in mayonnaise
4.You don't recognise a bowl of chicken soup unless there's feet and a head in it.
5. You feel awkward using a knife and fork.
When travelling by Plane…
1. You always are first to retrieve all your carry-on luggage from the overhead bins between landing and arrival at the gate.
2. You think 3 separate security checks in an airport is acceptable
3. You sprint frantically from the tarmac to the aeroplane to ensure you get a seat.
Fashion means…
1. you get your haircut on the sidewalk.
2. You leave the designer label conspicuously on the jacket sleeve.
3. You like those Frankenstein shoes on women.
4. You don't bother to take the sticker off the lenses of your fake Ray-Bans.
5. In the summer, you roll the legs of your pants up to your knees whenever you sit down.
6. (men) And you roll your shirt up to your nipples.
7. You wear a suit when you dig ditches or do home repairs
8. You have a purse and you are male
For entertainment…
1- You enjoy karaoke.
2- You walk backwards in the park listening to a transistor radio.
3- The China Daily is your source for hard hitting, fast breaking, investigative journalism.
4- You have grown used to the picture quality of pirated VCDs
5- Badminton and ping pong are your main forms of exercise.
6- You watch ‘xiaqi’ (Chinese chess) on TV religiously.
7- You find yourself “getting back to nature” in a park that contains nothing but concrete and a giant revolutionary statue.
Around Town…
1- You smoke in crowded elevators.
2- All white people look the same to you.
3- You like the smell of the bus
4- Open spaces make you nervous.
5- You find state-employed retail staff helpful, knowledgeable and friendly.
6- People with bright white teeth look frightening to you.
7- You no longer need tissues to blow your nose.
8- Other foreigners seem foreign to you.
9- You find yourself exiting a major highway…on your bike.
In the WC…
1- You find western toilets uncomfortable
2- You throw your used toilet paper in the basket
3- Those footprints on the toilet are yours.
Your Health…
1- You go to hospital at the first signs of a cold.
2- You think that the heavy air actually contains valuable nutrients that you need to stay healthy.
3- Any discomfort causes you to think there miht be something wrong with your ‘Qi’.
4- You don't notice your gastrointestinal problems anymore.
5- Your body no longer accepts dairy products.
Communication means…
1- You draw characters on your hand to make yourself understood.
2- You ask people in what animal year they were born.
3- You measure distances in ‘Li’
4- You think you speak Chinese fluently
Social Customs…
1- Squatting becomes your favourite position, anytime, anywhere.
2- The last time you visited your mother you presented her with your business card.
3- Your handshake is weakening by the day.
4- You think a 30 year old woman who carries a Hello Kitty lunch box is cute.
5- You would never think of entering your house without first removing your shoes
But wait, there is more…
- You think your nose IS kind of big.
- You can't put a proper sentence together in your native language
- It's OK to throw rubbish, including old fridges, from your 18th-floor window.
- Thanks to karaoke, you know who has the most singing talent in your building.
- You believe that pressing the lift button 63 times will make it move faster.
- The ultimate status symbol is a lawn-mower.
- You know it is useless to protest when the lady at the supermarket check-out wraps one toothbrush in 6 plastic bags.
- You will never ever EVER buy Miracle Foot Repair.
- You aren't aware that one is supposed to pay for software.
- Pink bathroom tiles can make any building or public garden beautiful.
- You believe shopping and eating are the only form of entertainment
- You have stopped noticing the grotesquely deformed leper begging on the pedestrian bridge.
- You test your seafood for mercury, hepatitis B and cholera.
- You have attended at least 4 weddings and a funeral in a language you don't understand at all.
- You are not surprised to see your tap water run dark brown.
- You tell your parents their house back in your home country has bad Feng Shui.
- You get offended when people admire your chopstick skills.
- You compiled a 3-page list of weird English first names that Chinese people of your acquaintance have chosen for themselves.
- You bulldoze your way into lifts, buses and trains before other passengers have a chance to alight.
- The word “wildlife” refers to the family of cockroaches that dwells in your kitchen drawer.
- You speak enough Chinese to make your colleagues laugh their heads off (attempts with anyone else still only draw blank stares).
- You are not surprised to find footprints on the edge of the toilet bowl.
- You believe you are really tall when you are only 5'8".
- You think that building a monorail on top of a holy mountain (Emei Shan) seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to do….
And Finally… You know that leaving China will break your heart.
